THE SCRIPTURE

By Mathoni

1. Eccl. 7: 9
   9 Be not ^ahasty in thy spirit to be ^bangry: for ^canger resteth in the bosom of fools.

THE THOUGHT

Prayer By Ziff

Yesterday in church, the topic was on prayer and how our prayers are answered not according to when or what we want, but when God wants us to have it and what God wants us to have. The point was raised that if we had all of our prayers answered all of the time, there would be no sorrow, no illness, no suffering. By not being allowed to experience those things, we wouldn't know happiness, well-being or the joys of redemption or the atonement. I sat there and pondered for a minute. I wondered if that is how Lucifer fell from grace in the sight of God. I imagine that Lucifer's plan was close to what God wanted. We know he wanted to make everyone return to God but he wasn't chosen to carry the burden that Jesus would have to bear because of his plan to remove agency from the plan of happiness. I am glad to know that I will experience earthly things according to Gods will and not my own. It brings joy to my soul to know that for every illness, pain, and suffering, I can over come those things and with help from God, truly experience happiness.

THE LESSON

Topic: Gaining an Eternal Perspective, blessings, adversity.

Written By Nimrod

To gain an eternal perspective on the Gospel of Jesus Christ we need to take a long look around us. The Lord has provided us with so many blessings in our lives, family, friends, our callings, our employment, the great land we live in and even our trials. To fully look at the trials we face on a daily basis we need to appreciate them as blessings in our lives. This week gave me an opportunity to ponder the blessings in my own life as I comforted a Ward member who lost a grandbaby, and visited with a Ward member in helping him to make funeral arrangements for his loving wife and mother to his children and as I had an opportunity to walk through a very small portion of the Lords great outdoors with my family, thinking about our Eternal Family.

To become an Eternal Family we go through many different challenges and trials in our lives here it this earthly state. Trials and adversity are blessings in our lives and as we understand their significance we can better appreciate what the Lord is trying to do for us.

“With all the differences in our lives, we have at least one challenge in common. We all must deal with adversity. . . . It is in the nature of our being human that comfort gives way to distress, periods of good health come to an end, and misfortunes arrive. . . . The arrival of suffering or the loss of material security can bring fear and sometimes even anger. . . .

“The very opportunity for us to face adversity and affliction is part of the evidence of [Heavenly Father and the Savior’s] infinite love. God gave us the gift of living in mortality so that we could be prepared to receive the greatest of all the gifts of God, which is eternal life.”

Henry B. Eyring, “Adversity,” Ensign, May 2009, 23

How We Receive Inspiration

“When the winds blow and the rains pour, they blow and pour on all. Those who have built their foundations on bedrock rather than sand survive the storms (see Matthew 7:24–27). There is a way to build on bedrock by developing a deep personal conversion to the gospel of Jesus Christ and knowing how to receive inspiration. We must know—and know that we know. We must stand spiritually and temporally independent of all worldly creatures (see D&C 78:14). This begins by understanding that God the Father is the Father of our spirits and that He loves us, that Jesus Christ is our Redeemer and Savior, and that the Holy Ghost can communicate with our minds and our hearts (see D&C 8:2–3). This is how we receive inspiration. We need to learn how to recognize and apply these promptings.”

Allan F. Packer, “Finding Strength in Challenging Times!” Ensign, May 2009, 17

Topics: , Conversion

Coping with Stress and Discouragement

You are invited to an elegant banquet, where you will be served a sumptuous meal of several courses.

As you sit down, you are told you have only three minutes to consume your meal. You might feel that what would have been a pleasurable experience had suddenly become stressful.

Unlikely though this scene might be, it may serve to illustrate the source of many kinds of stress in our lives. An elegantly set table with equally appealing food simply requires more than three minutes to fully enjoy. Similarly, when circumstances in our life demand more of us than we feel we can give, we can feel overwhelmed.

For some of us, such feelings may arise because we have a house full of growing children, each requiring time and attention. Perhaps we have committed ourselves to too many activities and cannot do them all as well as we would like. Family members may be facing urgent deadlines that create pressures on us, or maybe health problems are causing us to be irritable, impatient, and tired.

The list goes on and on. Some experts like to rank stressful activities by the amount of stress they produce. But the truth is, it is more the way we react to events, rather than the events themselves, that causes stress. It is our ability to adjust to changes in our circumstances that determines the degree of stress we feel. It is for this reason that what is stressful for one person isn’t necessarily stressful for another.

Surprisingly, a certain amount of stress can be good for us. As Lehi pointed out, opposition is essential for personal growth. (See 2 Ne. 2:11–16.) Research has shown that those with a hardy view of stress, for example, will look at a potentially difficult event as a challenge rather than as something to be feared. Even working on a project sixty hours a week can be challenging and exciting as long as we are committed to the undertaking. How we cope with stress, therefore, is more important than what causes the stress. But it does help to identify what those stressors are before we can deal with them.

Stress and Strain

An engineer will explain that stress is an essential part of any structure. He refers to an excess of stress in a structure as a strain. When the stress points in a structure are strained, the structure becomes damaged. Likewise, once the normal stress of life builds to a certain level, it no longer serves a productive purposes. Our lives become strained, and we face the potential of emotional and physical damage.

Such strain may occur when parents demand perfection in themselves or in their children’s performance or achievements. The truth is, few achieve perfection in this life. For most of us, the best we can hope for is steady progression toward the goals our Heavenly Father has outlined for us.

Elder Neal A. Maxwell has said, “When in situations of stress we wonder if there is any more in us to give, we can be comforted to know that God, who knows our capacity perfectly, placed us here to succeed. No one was foreordained to fail or to be wicked. When we have been weighed and found wanting, let us remember that we were measured before and we were found equal to our tasks; and, therefore, let us continue, but with a more determined discipleship. When we feel overwhelmed, let us recall the assurance that God will not overprogram us; he will not press upon us more than we can bear (D&C 50:40)” (“Meeting the Challenges of Today,” in Devotional Speeches of the Year, Provo: Brigham Young University, 1978, page 156).

Sometimes, the best way to cope with stress is simply to be realistic about what we expect of ourselves and others. We may be trying to do much more than we are capable of doing at present. Often, we become upset because we are not perfect in everything we try. Perfection is our ultimate hope, but in the meantime, we should be realistic and kind in our expectations of ourselves and others.

Coping with Stress

Being realistic is a very important way to handle the strains life places on us. But there are other ways as well. Some of the following may help jog your memory about what works for you. Share your ideas with your family.

Keep Spiritually Fit. Prayer and daily scripture study allow us to keep our spiritual reservoirs of faith, hope, and peace of mind full. These not only give us spiritual strength, but they can help us find answers to our particular problems.

Get Out of Debt. A common cause of family conflict is financial stress. Our Church leaders have consistently counseled us to budget our money and to stay out of debt. If we were to spend less than we earn, this practice alone would substantially reduce much of the financial stress most of us feel.

Keep Physically Fit. To handle stress, our bodies require rest, exercise, and a good diet. Participating in a favorite sport is also an excellent way to let off steam.

Set Priorities and Goals. If we can’t accomplish all we’d like to do, setting priorities at least allows us to do the most important. As individuals and as families, we need to set goals—daily, weekly, monthly, and long-range—and then plan how to accomplish them if we are to keep from spinning our wheels. Planning gives direction and energy to our efforts and helps us avoid crises that result from failing to anticipate needs and remember responsibilities.

Change Habits and Routines. Some people find that getting up an hour earlier gives them much greater control of their lives and uninterrupted time to do many things that otherwise don’t get done. For others, a short nap gives the needed refreshment.

Change Your Pace. A change of pace can bring a feeling of renewal and the serenity to cope with a hectic life-style. A short interlude amid the beauties of nature, a few minutes in quiet thought, reading a good book, doing anything we particularly enjoy (including nothing) for a while—all can help when the pressure intensifies.

Share Your Frustrations. Talking our problems over with family members not only helps relieve stress, but it can also enlist the family’s cooperation in finding solutions to the stress-producing situations. Writing in our journal can also provide insight as it helps us release tensions and cope with everyday stress. Wise parents will help their children see the value of writing down their feelings in a personal journal or notebook.

One mother of a large family confides, “My notebooks and journals are priceless. Some people are willing to pay professional counselors to listen as they unravel what’s in their head or their heart. For me, writing down my thoughts and feelings has been an unfailing source of revelation about my own inner self. Especially when I feel stressed out, discouraged, or down for any reason, I write what I’m feeling (often just a list of ‘I feel …’ sentences), and I am usually able to clarify what it is that is weighing on me. Then I can deal with it more effectively. Sometimes I fill a whole page with my frustrations before I begin to see what’s really bothering me. I have come to know myself intimately through my own writing.”

Relax and Enjoy Life. Some of us simply need to relax more and enjoy life, our children, and our relationships with spouse and friends. We sometimes forget that the ability to feel joy is one of the primary characteristics of Deity (see 3 Ne. 17:20) and that our mortal experience is meant to bring us a fulness of joy (see 2 Ne. 2:25; D&C 93:33).

Don’t Forget Humor. Serious though life is, there are many moments that would be enriched by a sense of humor. We will greatly reduce stress if at times we can laugh at the incongruity in our lives. Laughter in a family is a wonderful lubricant that can alleviate the friction of too much stress.

Coping with Discouragement

Among the most difficult feelings we have to cope with are discouragement, despair, depression, guilt, and anxiety.

President Ezra Taft Benson has said, “We live in an age when, as the Lord foretold, men’s hearts are failing them, not only physically but in spirit. (See D&C 45:26.) Many are giving up heart for the battle of life. Suicide ranks as a major cause of the deaths of college students. As the showdown between good and evil approaches with its accompanying trials and tribulations, Satan is increasingly striving to overcome the Saints with despair, discouragement, despondency, and depression” (General Conference, October 1974).

These negative feelings too often cause us to withdraw from the very people who could help us. A vague and undefined problem may seem insurmountable, but with a little talking and sharing of perspectives it can usually be dealt with. Encouraging your children to express their feelings to you from their earliest years will do much to empower them against these potentially devastating feelings of helplessness.

Unfortunately, even loving, communicating parents can’t help some children whose problems have become complicated or have gone on too long. These children need the assistance of professionals. For most of us, though, professional help is not necessary. Our problems and those of our children may cause us to feel discouraged, even depressed at times, but the feelings can usually be relieved by continuing with the everyday activities of keeping the commandments—repenting, praying and fasting, serving, working hard, maintaining health, reading, enduring, and turning to uplifting music, friends, and priesthood blessings for strength and inspiration.

As parents, our opportunity to be most Christlike may come when our family members or friends are experiencing emotional problems. Elder Marvin J. Ashton’s advice may be helpful: “Certainly the greatest miracles of our day are the lifting and healing of troubled souls. We must take family members by the hand and show our love is real and continuing” (General Conference, October 1973).

We can do several things to accomplish what Elder Ashton suggests.

Listen to Them. Encourage them to express their feelings. Reassure them that it is not abnormal to feel upset, confused, and disappointed at times.

Do Not Judge Them. Phrases like, “If only you had …” or “I told you this would happen if …” only make people feel worse. Help them see that they are not to blame for events outside their control and that they are not being punished. If they are responsible for their problems, help them forgive themselves and put the past behind them by repenting.

Help Them Gain a Spiritual Perspective. Remind them of the purpose of trials in life. Give them a sense of hope. Pray together, pleading with the Lord aloud for an eternal perspective and the necessary understanding of the problem.

Spend Time with Them. Be available when your child or your spouse needs to discuss problems or express feelings. Sometimes, simply being together without distraction can be a balm to a troubled heart.

Involve Others as Needed. Involve those who are capable of helping. Encourage family members to pray together, work together, and support the person in need. If necessary, involve professionals whose values are compatible with yours.

Love Them Unconditionally. After all and above all, our greatest means of supporting others is to love them without guile. That means we learn to see them as the Lord sees them, for their eternal worth as children of God. As parents, we must learn to do this especially when our children seem to deserve it least. If we can do this, despite all our personal weaknesses, we can overcome anything together.

The gospel of Jesus Christ does not profess to eliminate stress, and none should think it will. But it will give meaning to the opposition and resistance we meet in this life and enable us to grow “in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man” (Luke 2:52).

“Coping with Stress and Discouragement,” Tambuli, Aug. 1991, 26
Handbook for Families

Gospel topics: adversity, attitude, stress

Influences That Erode Faith

“First is doubt. . . . It comes from a lack of confidence in one’s self or abilities. It is inconsistent with our divine identity as children of God. “Doubt leads to discouragement. Discouragement comes from missed expectations. . . . Discouragement leads to distraction, a lack of focus. . . . Distraction leads to a lack of diligence, a reduced commitment to remain true and faithful and to carry on through despite hardship and disappointment. . . . This path ultimately leads to disobedience, which undermines the very basis of faith. So often the result is disbelief, the conscious or unconscious refusal to believe.”

Kevin W. Pearson, “Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ,” Ensign, May 2009, 40

Topics: Consequences of Sin, Obedience

Carry On

"Siddhartha Guatama was a historical religious figure believed to have been born around 563 BC. He was a sage who became Buddha. One of his stories tells of a journey he had hiking with a monk in the bitter cold of the Himalayas.

On their way up the mountain, Siddhartha and his companion find a man who is seriously injured and cannot walk. Siddhartha tells the monk they must help the man, but the monk tells Siddhartha that because of the cold and their lack of supplies they will die if they try to carry the man. They must first save themselves. Unconvinced, Siddhartha stops to help the man while the monk goes on ahead. Siddhartha continues on his journey, physically exhausted from the chore of carrying the injured man on his back, but continues out of sheer will power. As Siddhartha approaches camp, he finds the monk frozen to death in the snow. Siddhartha and the man he saved, however, both make it to camp alive. A universal truth overwhelms him when he realized his life was only spared because of the extra energy exerted while carrying the man on his back. If he had not had the extra weight, Siddhartha would have perished along with the monk. He concludes that blessed are those persons with challenges, for it is only by working through those challenges that they will arrive at their ultimate desired destination." -Be Still by Victoria Anderson, PHD & Lois D. Brown, MA

Sometimes we may feel tempted to give up on someone because of their personal injuries or struggles, like the monk from this story. But if we can remember Mary Stevenson's Footprints In The Sand poem, "The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you." Who better to model our lives after than the Savior. We can all aspire to carry those around us, and by doing so, we also preserve our own eternal lives.

Endure Adversity More Confidently

“There is no infirmity, affliction, or adversity that Christ did not feel in Gethsemane. . . .

“President Howard W. Hunter said: ‘If our lives and our faith are centered on Jesus Christ and his restored gospel, nothing can ever go permanently wrong. On the other hand, if our lives are not centered on the Savior and his teachings, no other success can ever be permanently right’ (The Teachings of Howard W. Hunter, ed. Clyde J. Williams [1997], 40).”

Rafael E. Pino, “Faith in Adversity,” Ensign, May 2009, 41–42

Faith and Spiritual Strength

“We need strong Christians who can persevere against hardship, who can sustain hope through tragedy, who can lift others by their example and their compassion, and who can consistently overcome temptations. We need strong Christians who can make important things happen by their faith and who can defend the truth of Jesus Christ against moral relativism and militant atheism.”

D. Todd Christofferson, “The Power of Covenants,” Ensign, May 2009, 19–20

Topics: Hope, Adversity, Gratitude

The Way He Was Raised

He always wore those worn out flip-flops
Spent hours in his Daddy's workshop
he loved being on the water
Fishing with His friends
He always listened to the old folks
When they'd tell stories and crack jokes
Didn't talk back to his Mama
When she got onto Him

Oh, that's just the way He was raised
Had to finish all His chores 'fore He could go outside and play
they always went to church that's were he learned how to pray
And that's just the way He was raised

He grew His hair out when He got older
Grew it clear down to His shoulders
Started hanging with the outcasts
When He went off to town
Some called Him a troublemaker
Even some said a lawbreaker
No matter how they talked about Him
He never put nobody down

'Cause that's just the way He was raised
When people start to gossip, He'd just walk away
He always loved his neighbor no matter what they'd say
Oh, that's just the way He was raised

On a cross, on a hill
That longhaired boy was killed
All our sins washed away
When He walked out of that grave

Oh, that's just the way He was raised
there's no way we can measure
The sacrifice He made
He knew He had to die
For our debt to be paid
Oh, that's just the way He was raised

It took the hand of God to roll the stone away
And that's just the way He was raised
Yeah, that's just the way He was raised

Written by Josh Turner, Mark Narmore and Bobby Tomberlin